I am compelled to write that there was no “Mr February” and Todd K believes that I should include that it’s my fault. That I wussed out.

What happened was that we played ping-pong for the first time in February on Saturday, the 28th. We played two matches. The first I won handily 3-0. Then I lost handily 3-0. When challenged to another match, I declined. You know, for me, it’s just love of the sport that keeps me going.

Todd, Ryan, their wives and I hung out Saturday at Todd’s house. After the ping-pong, we had a little reunion of the pre-Hagar Carter Administration — The Roth Administration, if you will. Trying to play songs you haven’t played in three years is really hilarious. Thank God, our songs never featured long instrumental sections. One of us would remember a song and we’d start on the main riff and play to the first change where one or all of us (usually me) would completely muff the change. Then, we’d sort of struggle out of it and all hit upon the correct next riff of the song. And Jesus, did we have some intricate songs.

The big hit, “Hott Sexxx Bikini Contest,” I barely remember at all. Why in the hell did I put so many changes in it? I didn’t remember the easy parts. We couldn’t even make it to the middle section. Then there was “EZ Duz It” where we kept remembering other little licks to the song.

And Ryan, man, that dude remembers everything. Or else, he’s a walking Carter Admin Fakebook. When I’d remember one little lick, he’d immediately play the bass part to it. We played a few songs with him on guitar and I couldn’t remember my bass parts at all. We played “It’s So Easy” — our huge G’n’R cover — which properly featured about 4 guitar solos. (Ryan played the same solo every time.) Then we closed with our bigger hit “Tons of Trouble” to which I do remember the bass line.

I am told that Todd may be available for pong this afternoon. Let the blue-balling begin, eh? We decided last night that “Mr March” sounded a bit, er, “fancy” so we don’t know if we want to compete for that title. Maybe the loser will become “Mr March.” Maybe “Mrs March.” We’re still discussing.

I think we’re going to have bigger problems in April.