So my girlfriend and I are doing the dishes last night and she grabs a paper towel and wipes something up and turns to throw the towel away. I see something dark fall onto our counter from the general area of the paper towel holder that is attached to the underside of our cabinets. As if it fell when she grabbed a towel. I’ve got dishes in my hands so I ask her to move a couple of things on the counter behind which the dark thing dropped. I tell her something fell and of course, I’m fearing it’s a big-ass roach. She moves the stuff and I can’t believe it. It’s a huge goddam slug.

An effing slug?!? In our kitchen? That fell onto our counter? Where the hell was it? How did it get there?

Oh God we were so grossed out. We spent the next hour just randomly cursing.