“Honey, I had a few beers last night and may have joined a metal band called Hammerdick.”

Friday night I went out alone to see a band that I hadn’t heard much of but knew they had some good attributes–recorded with a talented producer, knew some other good bands, that sort of thing. They did not entertain me. But it was a different form of non-entertainment that I haven’t experienced in a while. They weren’t necessarily bad at what they did, but it was very 90s. I had the feeling that my band from ’93 might have become them if we’d only practiced more. But we’d have had to live in a time warp. To top it off, the crowd seemed to be in a time warp. No one, and I mean no one was smoking. In the whole bar. (I found out later that the bar recently banned smoking but at the time, it freaked me out.) I had a beer and left.

As I had little dough and knew of no other shows, I came home and watched the new Suicide Girls DVD. I really enjoyed the SG DVD despite some apprehension. I’ve always liked SG’s pin-up punk but really, the name has always put me off. I’m such a pussy. But the DVD captured the founding ideals of the site in a really entertaining documentary. In fact, I ended up fast-forwarding through a lot of the nudity just to get to the interviews with the Girls.

Saturday, after much delay, Todd K and I ponged. And after 3 hard-fought games–wait for it–I won. I know. It’s incredible. I had to concentrate like I was speaking Chinese though. It was brutal. Before I played Todd, I played Andy to 11 and it was the craziest 11 point game we’ve ever seen. In one rally, Andy barely tipped a shot over the net. I tapped it back over with a great angle to the other corner. Andy couldn’t make it but he threw his paddle at the ball as he fell and tapped it back over. And I missed the damn slam. It was the single greatest point we’ve ever played in that house. Andy was on the floor, paddleless when he looked up to see me miss the point.

Saturday night, I headed down to the End to see The Carter Administration and Ole Mossy Face. The Carters were predictably tight. They played a new song of Ryan’s to close the set that kicked all sorts of ass. Ole Mossy Face was too loud for me. It messed up the mix. But, they rocked a bit harder than I’ve ever seen them.

At the end of the evening, Dean was telling me about the new band he’s forming with Doug and Jared called “Dickhammer.” I said, “Only one guitar? You need another guitar player for harmony guitar leads.” At which point, I was told I would be that second guitarist. As Dean continued to tell us about the band’s first single, “(Try on my) Loincloth,” he referred to the band as “Hammerdick.” Todd and I called him on it and Dean had to get Jared’s ruling: “Is it Dickhammer or Hammerdick?”


We argued that we liked “Dickhammer” better. Dean said, “That’s why it’s Hammerdick.” I told them that in that case, my name in the band will be “Dick Hammer” to which Dean added “Esquire.”