The Dukes of Crapzard

There are so many things wrong with the The Dukes of Hazzard that I’m going to have to rent it just to watch its inevitable trainwreck. In the run-up to its theatrical release, I’m barraged with the commercials and each clip I see raises more questions: Since when are there four-lane highways in Hazzard county? How the hell did the Duke boys find themselves in the company of someone in a lab coat? Where the hell are Coy and Vance?

But most importantly, what is the deal with the accents?

In the most recent clip I saw where Jessica Simpson tells a cop that she thinks somehing might have done something to her undercarriage, she delivers the line with a more screwed accent than even Madonna could manage. (Of course, Madonna’s being serious.) It’s ridiculous. I mean, Jessica’s from the south! Just speak with your normal accent!

Am I alone in this complaint? If I really gave a crap, I’d try to think of all the rotten southern accents I’ve heard faked in movies. Gina Gershon’s in Showgirls leaps instantly to mind.