There are so many things wrong with the The Dukes of Hazzard that I’m going to have to rent it just to watch its inevitable trainwreck. In the run-up to its theatrical release, I’m barraged with the commercials and each clip I see raises more questions: Since when are there four-lane highways in Hazzard county? How the hell did the Duke boys find themselves in the company of someone in a lab coat? Where the hell are Coy and Vance?

But most importantly, what is the deal with the accents?

In the most recent clip I saw where Jessica Simpson tells a cop that she thinks somehing might have done something to her undercarriage, she delivers the line with a more screwed accent than even Madonna could manage. (Of course, Madonna’s being serious.) It’s ridiculous. I mean, Jessica’s from the south! Just speak with your normal accent!

Am I alone in this complaint? If I really gave a crap, I’d try to think of all the rotten southern accents I’ve heard faked in movies. Gina Gershon’s in Showgirls leaps instantly to mind.