You can lead a horse to water, but don’t you let him in the pool
I’ve been listening to Alternative Champs‘ Welcome to Fort Awesome for the past couple of days. It is definitely like a Chocolate and Cheese-era Ween–a live band playing silly songs, sometimes genre-parodies, sometimes just clever rock. The biggest shortcoming is that it doesn’t really get cranking until the fifth track, “Swimming in the Pool”–a riff on cheesy 70s R&B. But then, it really gets cranking. “Swimming” is funny both in its delivery and ridiculous lyrics. “Squishy, My Love,” the next track, rocks along with silly lyrics, but they’re almost an afterthought to the catchy music. “Animals Sleep in the Craziest Places” covers its topic as advertised. It’s amusing if not hilarious. But it’s still catchy. And “Kicking Ass”–a revved up AC/DC parody–is just effing awesome. Sung in a gritty, constipated Brian Johnson voice, the song nails its target. Just peep these lyrics:
Well, it’s Friday night don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash cause we’re kicking ass and taking names and I’ll put my foot up your ass. Well wipe your ass with broken glass, I’m gonna mow your lawn. Cause your ass is grass and it’s getting long and I’m a hedge-clippin’ weed-eatin’ son of a bitch!
I told you it was awesome.