Still more inapproriate blogging

I’d like to think I’m in the majority on the issue on which I am about to post, but likely I’m not. I’m usually not in any majority. So you can just chalk this one up as one of my weirdo “quirks,” but here goes:

It is my strong feeling that if you’re at a party and you feel the need to move your bowels, you should just go home.

And I mean, even (perhaps especially) if it’s one of those parties where everyone is just hanging around drinking and talking. Maybe I’ve got some crazy Protestant hang-up about my private time in the can, but I just don’t think a polite human being should be able to excuse himself to the restroom, blow ass, and resume casual conversation. It doesn’t work that way for me and I don’t think it should work that way for you. I’d be standing around trying to talk about the Pixies’ best album and wondering if I was a little whiffy.

And in my perfect, imaginary, considerate little world, this should be everyone’s concern. So maybe I can get the ball rolling by saying to those of you who engage in this activity: we know it was you. Now honestly, we don’t but I figure if we say we do maybe we can shame party poopers everywhere into a cease and desist.

When you need to drop the deuce at a social gathering, you’re done. Just go home, do your business and watch tv alone. Maybe next time, don’t have the Burrito Supremo right before the garden party.