Honestly, she’s just walking around muttering “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus”

I’ve told you before how Lady Jesus loves to talk. but I don’t know if I was emphatic enough about her gift for the rhetorical. At least once every day, she will just ask the question “What’s this?” when I am neither looking at her nor even really engaged in conversation with her.

Sure, quite often, I, like anyone would, assume this is just a rhetorical question. As if she spotted something on her desk and wondered aloud, “What is this?”

But this is not entirely the case. There’s a way that her voice goes up at the end of the question and the pause afterwards is more pregnant than it should be that still catches me. I wait a beat or two and then respond. Always the same response to the question: “I have no idea.”

And this is how I know her questions aren’t purely rhetorical, because when I answer, she has an immediate follow-up. As in:

LJ: What’s this?

(beat)

TA: I have no idea.
LJ: Who put it here?

(beat)

TA: I… don’t know.

This is when I usually turn around to see what she’s talking about. Inevitably, I still have no idea what it is or who put it there.

There is of course another route to responding to this kind of question: the purely literal. And occassionally, I take that road.

LJ: What is this?
TA: A letter.

It never helps though because the follow-up comes just as quickly. I am still working on my timing. Because one day, I will have the perfect answer for her.

LJ: Who put it here?
TA: Jesus.