the direct approach

I’ve gotten bored and clicked through tons of crazy stuff on craigslist before. But I don’t think I’ve been as amused as tonight when I clicked into the “adult gigs” section. I knew it existed and I’ve clicked in it before but it never held my attention. Maybe it’s always this hilarious. Maybe I got lucky. Maybe I’m just in the right mood to find “Car Date Facesitter” hilarious:

Looking for open minded female who enjoys getting off on a guys face…must be willing to make out..150 for 45 minutes….must be open to a mutual happy ending

Although I must say, the poster doesn’t sell himself quite as enthusiastically as this guy:

I EAT PUSSY LIKE A BANDIT/BREATHE THRU MY EARS (sfv)

WM teddy bear in sfv WILL take you exactly where u wanna be. believe it. I WILL get you off. Obsessed/dedicated. no, I don’t want your pic. My talk is also effective at speaking….val & vic friendly going down………..

I don’t actually know what he’s talking about at the end there. But I laughed out loud when I found “shave me“:

I would like an attractive woman to shave my balls in the nude. Please send photo and requirements. 15-20 minutes tops.

Succinct, no? Best part maybe?

Location: your place.

They just get weirder from there. For example “swallow“:

in need of hot girl that can swallow no oral neeeded just has to be able to swallow email if interested with pic donatio will be made for time

Uh.

Anyway… Mostly the “gigs” seem to be dudes posing as photographers just hoping to get chicks naked and you know doing stuff. It was an entertaining ten minutes.