I wrote “Samantha Very Quickly” in 1998 after discovering a show on Univision called “Samantha Muy Pronto.” I just thought the title was funny.

Lyrics
Samantha, very quickly won’t you leave the wash to me
I have more experience in getting your things clean
it’s not enough that you rebuffed my advances in the shrubs
your life is hard since you’ve been barred from your favorite bar or club

I was never half as good as you
I was never half as good as you

Samantha dear, I fear I’m queer I have all the tell-tale signs
I’m thin and clean but more importantly I haven’t been with a girl in a really long time

And I was never half as good as you
I was never half as cool as you

Samantha very quickly won’t you tell me what to do
I’ve had the rest now I want the best but Samantha I’d settle for you

Oh no wonder they say
you’re the one

Chords
Verse:
D A G B G F G
Chorus:
D A G E
Ending:
A C G F G